We move through quartz of time to the gates outside Olympic Dam.

As we pan down the sign displayed, “Trespassers will be prosecuted. ” we lock onto Velvet Bloom who is twisting the reddened ears of the kneeling, wincing journos, Bruce Clacker and Baz.

Since the last scene we have discovered that Ms Bloom is more than she appears.

In one of her many guises we have learnt that she is the reincarnation of Xmas ghost of Past Progressive. With an incantation the hapless gits were transported like CIA renditions to face their worst nightmare – a return to the facts. Now in the desert bush they are at the mercy of Bloom.

Act I

Scene 2 and 3/4

Velvet: Stop your bawling Baz! It’s unbecoming.

Baz: Sorry Ms. I just….

Velvet: Next time you speak without permission, it’s ‘gypt, got it!

Baz: [… Mmm, I like the sound of a holiday (B muses)]

Bruce: Just do what she says Baz! Fer Gawd sake!

Without a word of warning from the Ghost they stood on a bleak and desert moor, where the monstrous masses of rude stone were cast about, as though it were the burial place of giants; and water nowhere to be divined.

Bruce:  What place is this?

Velvet:  A place where Miners lived, who laboured in the bowels of the earth. But they know me, See!

Baz: I don’t see ‘em Ms.

Velvet: Baz! Fancy a root canal?  Then cark it… [rattles the Morely chains] Look!

[The two look at each other, quizzically]

Velvet: You asked where we are? We are standing over wealth, more than all the gold you could ever imagine.  What’s that Clacker?

Bruce: Oil?

Velvet: Baz?

Baz: Uranium?

Velvet: Clacks?

Bruce: Beer?

Velvet: I have a good mind to deport you. [pause] C’mon boys! Think!

Bruce: There’s nothing here. Just rocks and scrub and more rocks.  And underneath minerals.

Velvet: You’re forgetting…

Baz: Water! Right Ms, water?

Velvet: Bingo Baz! Holy dooley! Clacks yer fired.

Baz: (smiles)

Velvet: Take that ugly grin off yer face Bazzer. You guessed dint ja?

Baz: (nods, sheepishly)

Velvet: The most precious substance in life, water. Here under our feet in the middle of the desert, in the Great Artesian Basin. Millions of year it took to make and so vital to life, more precious than anything. Why? Why is it precious?

Clacker; There’s only so much… of it…

Velvet: And when it’s gone?.…

Clacker: It’s really gone.

Velvet: Geez Bruce. You’re a wonder. Couldn’t see from that great height, could you? Couldn’t get off your fat arse? Did you think to care?

Baz: That’s what I said to Clacks? I said…

Velvet: Baz you’re a waste of space.

Baz: [A puff of smoke He disapparates (sp. thanks JKR)] 

Velvet: (turns to Bruce) Not to worry mate, mystery flight. We won’t leave Harold long. Chooks will be back. Clacker if you don’t want to join ‘im, quick what’s the point we’re missing here? Can’t be here forever, my zinc cream’s melting.

Bruce: We didn’t do our job.

Velvet: Why Clack’s you really are full of surprises. First one off the bat, dux.