Its so hard for (LNP) Liberal-National Party politicians to have empathy for nature's creatures and the places they live, such as forests. The disappearance of stable climate, on which their survival (and ours) is predetermined in the long term is also ignored. It is therefore appropriate that our minds be exercised by this little thought experiment and exercise of imagination, as the bulldozers of dirty coal exploiters of Whitehaven Coal push over the homes of endangered species in the Leard State Forest.

I am hoping to make several million dollars by selling this franchise scam which requires the pulverised bone powder of successful LNP minsterial politicians. This is used as a medicinal compound, to sell to thousands of rich but gullable business clients in China. Drinking this rare extract is guaranteed to increase business persons potency in the act of f*#king the planet, and increase the business profits selling manufactured goods back to Australia, by making imports cheap with the currency upvaluation. With the strength of this guaranteed get-rich business plan, all anyone needs to do is to form a corporation and obtain big loan from a commercial bank, like ANZ. Banks do create money out of nothing by recording an electronic debt entry when an equivalent loan is created. Think several billion dollars out of nothing. Such large debt is a strong commitment to acquire and harvest the raw materials to sell and pay off the bank loan and interest, by all legally enforceable means possible, and pocket the change. The money for interest has to come from somewhere, usually another bank loan. Using the money, the services of various lawyers, judges and public servants can be bought to get a leg removal and bone-grinding licence to operate on the most economically profitable and available target persons.

Inappropriate removal of ministerial legs, is of course totally protected by a Removal Of Leg Of Politician Impact Statement, (ROLOPIS) in which thousands of pages of detail are used to not deny that a politician with fewer legs than normal is totally unimpaired in his role of selling Australian Assets overseas at lowest tax cost. Already converted politicians (see Stepford Politicians below) have been installed in key approval ministeries who will rubber stamp this when the right buttons are pushed. The ROLOPIS also establishes the economic rationale, which is to turn all that remains of Nature into a pile of consumed products and wrappings.

Patient Rights for submission to political potency extraction

You and your loved ones will not be notified or consulted, and discussion of long term consequences and side effects is to be scrupulously avoided. Leg donors are legally obliged to submit to amputation, no discussion, and no appeals to courts. To ensure compliance, a team of obedient police with helicopters and police cars will surround the neighbourhood in which you live. They will stop everyone going in and out of the neighbourhood, and will ensure there is no escape. They will arrest anyone that is trying to protect you, with heavy fines or imprisonment as penalties.

The Procedure

The bone surgeon and physical restraint team will break down your doors in the early hours of the morning in the middle of Winter and perform the amputation operation without aneasthetic, to reduce operational expense. My product advertises that a subjects pain and terror infuses the final product with a metaphysical essence of exploitation, and you are required to cooperate in this. An annonymous clerk in the Department of Silly Walks has certified that the extraction team is fully qualified in basic butchery ethics, and are allowed to perform the amputation on you at any time without notice.

Political Leg Offsets

A modern plastic leg prosthetic replacement, known as Limb Offset^TM, made in China, is available in all lengths and quality, to suit your means. These are manufactured using energy from clean, cheap Australian Fossil Fuels. After the scars heal, if you survive the surgery, you will be given your new Limb Offset^TM, subject to availability. If and when it arrives, it will be much more sustainable and durable, and absolutely pain free, when compared to your original leg. You may take some time to adjust, and we can't help you with this, as we need to minimize our operational costs. You should be very grateful and proud for in supporting the company franchise for providing this ecologically sustainable service for our profits. Any phantom limb pain you might experience is entirely in your own mind, and won't affect the well being of anyone else. And if your walking is a little unbalanced after this, don't worry. Soon the legal rights to your remaining leg will be exercised, and it will be also removed and replaced with an exact match to the first prosthesis, and this will restore your logical gait and balance.

Political Arm Offsets

The market demand for political bone potency is going to be around for a long time, and the Exploitation Company will get very rich, so your arms will soon be subject to new upper limb acquisition legislation. The hired flunkies in “think tanks” and media commentators have already been paid to spruik it. Overseas business investors have required that as condition of business, your government suppress any and all campaigns, such as divestment strategies, which attack the politician bone harvesting industry by making them illegal. Unfortunately there are no specials on limb offsets for this. When its nearly all gone, its practically all gone.  As your health, mobility and quality of life will be already very degraded, you won't mind very much. Signing off for policies written by corporations isn't really very hard work, can be done electronically, and your arms will not be needed, as all political work is just talking.

Stepford Politicians

New developments in Information Technology hardware may mean that original Australian LNP politician brains can now be harvested. Their powdered extracts are advertised to the Chinese Politburo as being good for suppression political dissent, when added in low concentrations in the water supply, as they contain concentrated neoliberal propaganda. “It's good for you”. This scam could last for decades. LNP Politician brains can now be removed and profitably replaced with a much more efficient silicon version. Replacing the entire political body will be possible in the near future, to better serve business. Some people say this has already happened, given the near perfectly natural way in how LNP politicians answer questions about climate change and the environment, with the same answers about having a free market growth economy, and needing coal for energy. See the reference for “Stepford Wives”. Now we have Stepford Politicians, just perfect for business.

The Stepford Wives:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stepford_Wives